Wednesday, December 1, 2010

How to Drive a Car

My Wife, my son, and I were just at the local McDonald's drive thru getting a Happy Meal for the little guy. Some days when he is feeling badly that's all you can get him to eat. We try not to feed him too much crap though but at the same time don't like him to go TOO long without him eating at all.
We were sitting in the line of the Drive Thru and I saw the Reverse Lights on the car ahead of us turn on! I reacted pretty quickly with the horn but I guess it takes more than 3 seconds of loud horn blowing to stop a young teen from Reversing their car into yours these days.
After impact the young lady and I got out of our cars and began to scan our vehicles for damage.
I noticed mine had none nor did hers(i thought at the moment.) I told her to try and be more careful nicely but she barely seemed to acknowledge my existence much less *gulp* APOLOGIZE!
Kids these days!
Luckily I noticed after returning to my vehicle that I had inflicted at least SOME Minor damage to her car's bumper (SCORE!).

WHICH ALSO Brings me to the:


While operating your vehicle within a LINE at a Fast Food restaurant, Drive Thru Pharmacy, or the equivalent PLEASE by all means keep your Car in the D(drive) position with your foot upon the brake OR the P(park) position. Never use the R(reverse) setting UNLESS you have confirmed their is no other motorist behind you at the present time and you have decided to unexpectedly Leave OR if you wish to intentionally Smash into the motorist directly behind you causing damage to your car and the said motorist which in turn will ensue a bad day for both you and said motorist after the police, insurance, legal jargon, and whatknot.

If you wish to avoid such events in the FIRST place, please study these simple abbreviations
you may come across inside and while operating your motor vehicle.

P - This is the PARK setting. Use this when your car is meant to be in a stationary position (not moving forwards or backwards). You can use this setting with the motor turned ON or OFF :-0
How convienant eh? This happens to be one of my most favorite settings!!!

D - This is the DRIVE setting. This is used when you want your motor vehicle to operate in a forward like motion. You can also use this setting in combination with the BRAKE when at stoplights OR stop signs while you are "stopped" temporarily.

R - Ahh, the REVERSE setting. Now one of my least favorite settings BUT nevertheless a very
useful one indeed. The R letter will cause your vehicle to move in a BACKWARD motion.
For instance, if a car was behind your car in a stationary position, ONE would NEVER want to use the R or REVERSE setting!!!! This would cause what is called a collision in motorist terms. In addition, even if the collision caused from this MISTAKE may be a minor incident; tempers may flare and the rear driver may become EXTREMELY agitated by said front motorist.
If such an incident should (so unfortunately) occur, please remember to calmly exit your vehicle and slowly approach the angry motorist in the rear (should you unfortunately be said front motorist) and make SURE to be very apologetic.
OR if you happen to be the also unfortunate driver who was collided into, also try to remain calm until speaking with the other motorist.
If you show that you are truly SORRY about the accident you made and their is no MAJOR damage to motorist #2's vehicle then there should be no reason to involve the local authorities and insurance agencies and i'm sure that both of you can be on your way in a matter of minutes.

OTHERWISE things could possibly get VERY NASTY!!!! Especially if either said motorist happens to have weapons or is skilled in hand to hand combat. NOT GOOD!!!

So this weeks lesson kids is..................................
remember to say "I'm SORRY!"


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